August 14th, 2018
Hi again loves!
So real talk, this is the 4th? 5th? 10th?…(honestly I’ve lost count) attempt to sit and write this blog post. I kid you not its been getting put off and off for almost a month now. In case you aren’t following along via Instagram there has been a LOT going on these last 4 months….
First the most exciting – we’re expecting bebe #2!! I cannot wait to see J become a big bro and see Ko be a dad of two. Every day I feel so much gratitude. I cannot was to hold this bebe in my arms and watch our family grow. This is also the reason its been verrrrry quiet around my social + blog these last few months. This pregnancy has definitely come with a lot of physical challenges – I’ve never experienced feeling so sick 24/7 before (I was sick up until 20 weeks or so)…thankfully I’m 6 months now (can’t believe it) and been feeling much better so it’s back to work and picking up where we left off! We also bought a house, did reno’s, sold our condo and were living with my parents for these last few months – sooo yes, it’s been busyyy!
I have a fun rest of the month planned for the blog, lots of posts that are highly request are going to LIVE…but before we dive into August I figured it would be a good time to do a little life update on all thats been going on these last few months…
Back in January before I got pregnant we bought a house! I’ll share that entire process in another post but we got posession this spring. Overall the home was in great condition but it did need some cosmetic renos (new floors, kitchen facelift with painting the cabinets, new backsplash and counter tops etc., everything getting painted, electrical and plumbing).
Just last week our condo closed and we said goodbye to it. It was so emotional, so many wonderful firsts. Kosta and I walked through each room talking about all the memories from before we were engaged, getting engaged, getting married, starting and growing my business, welcoming our first bebe and raising him…it was a flood of emotions! Also all the people and staff in that building became like family over the news sharing in the highs and lows that life brings. I miss them so much already – it was nice when I was having a bad day to go down and see someone smile and say hello to you and know they care. I could go on but i’ll end here…we closed that chapters and now we are onto the next. That condo will always be our first home.
Okay, back to the new place….
New home + pregnant + renos….Let’s just say making all these home decisions while being deep in first trimester sickness was not easy. We had picked a floor we both liked – I got sick in the store and had to run out to be “sick” in the parking lot. When we went back a few days later I couldn’t look at the floor anymore all I wanted to do was vomit at the sight (!?) beyond strange and so hard to explain but this happened with J too and our Christmas tree – it needed to come down on the 26th which as most of you know is SO unlike Mrs. Christmas over here. Kudos to Ko who although was mystified by this was understanding and agreed to keep on looking and we both laughed about how ridiculous it all was. After that I would try to only look at colours, floors and anything home related when I wasn’t feeling so so sick to avoid that again.
During this time we have also moved in with my parents as we prepped the condo to sell. We thought we’d be there for a few weeks…that turned into almost 4 months. I’m so grateful we were there while I was so sick it was great to have the extra help with J (especially at bath time) and when I couldn’t even look at food Ko was getting spoiled with home cooked meals daily (my mom adores him lol).
Everyone kept telling me how stressful moving was and to take it easy, I didn’t really understand why they were saying all this until we were in the middle of it and I totally understood why. Other things I learned? You cannot pack up your entire life in two days. I was planning on packing up (solo) the ENTIRE condo in two days…my mom and mother in law kept asking me what they can do and Ko and I were all like ‘we got this! no worries!’ by this point I had about 3 hrs in the middle of the day where I felt okay and not sick….yeahhh second day middle of the day SOS call to our moms for help. Live and learn!
Next post is all about our new home inspiration, decor and wish lists so I’ll save those details for that post!
(1st + 2nd trimester)
As I started writing this bebe is kicking up a storm in my tummy! Even the second time around feeling those first kicks is just as exciting as the first. I can’t wait to see J become a big brother, I’m a bit nervous how he’s going to adjust but I know it will all be okay – I cannot wait to give him a sibling and watch the interact. I pray they have a close wonderful bond.
Going to keep this really real for y’all. As I mentioned above, these last few months have been some of the most physically challenging of my life. My pregnancy sickness hit around week 5 as I was on a flight coming back from San Diego after speaking at the 90 Day Year Live event. I got sick with J for about a month (really bad) and then I got better. This time around was sooo different. I don’t think I need to say how excited and grateful I am to pregnant again but there were moments I was so frustrated from not feeling myself and being sick all day long for weeks on end. I struggled with feeling so useless to everyone. This was the source of my frustration and what I’d feel upset about – I’m usually the kind of person who can push through, keep positive and get things done. This time I can’t explain it but I just couldn’t do much of anything – I couldn’t play with J, I couldn’t cook, being in the car would make me vomit, I spent most of the day in bed eyes closed focused on my breathing back and forth from the bathroom. I didn’t know pregnancy blues was a thing but I definitely felt it and then of course felt awful about it.
I was and am so grateful for friends who understood how that kind of sick felt and made me feel better about it. Words of encouragement in those moments are what helped me pull through. Finally at about 20 weeks I felt a bit better and by 22 weeks I started to really feel like myself again, I could play with J properly, change his diaper without needing to run to the bathroom lol, I started to cook and be able to open the fridge without hiding my face in my shirt to not smell anything. I found myself wanting to listen to podcasts again, the scroll of IG no longer made me sick and I felt like I could think clearly for the first time in months and start to truly get excited that this bebe was on it’s way to joining our family.
We DO know the sex of the baby and I can’t wait to share that with you guys very soon with another all things baby round 2 (and more mushy) blog post soon.
A few months before I got pregnant I started to really hit a good stride with work and find a good balance I was comfortable with. I started the year strong with a clear vision of how I wanted it to play out. In life, there are seasons and right now we’re are in a beautiful one that I prayed we’d be able to have and that I’m beyond grateful for – growing our family. In regards to work, this means it’s going to be a bit of a stop and go for a while and relieved that I finally feel okay about that. I expected a lot from myself after I had J, I burnt out quick, I felt lost and unsure of myself or how I wanted to present this new version of myself to the world.
Now that I’m feeling more like myself I’m craving more creativity, exploration and play in my work – I want to try new things, mix it up and not worry so much about the vanity metrics that come along with social media. As a creator that’s the only way I’ll evolve and find enjoyment from my work by switching it up every so often. Seasons of change make me go inwards, reflect and re-evaluate what I’m putting into the world.
It’s been quiet around these the last few months and at first I was really okay with that but now that things are falling back into place it feels like there is a ball of creativity inside me growing everyday to get back to doing what I love. I’m excited to let her out to explore and find new techniques, and ways of expressing the work I feel compelled to share. There’s only one way to do this by experimentation. I love beauty and surrealism, I love creating beautiful imagery and I also love to be goofy, keep things light hearted with good ol’ reality. I’m excited about what’s to come even though I don’t know yet what its going to completely look like!
a few random photos from May – Now (realized creating this blog post just how little I’ve documented this bebe bump this time around so going to have to change that asap!)