October 1st, 2016
If you follow me on social media you would have seen on August 1st we welcomed our sweet baby boy into this world. We named him after my father-in-law John (John in Greek is Yianni which is what we usually call him or Bebe J!). I cannot express in words the amount of heart exploding love, overwhelming gratitude and pure happiness it has brought our entire family. I thank God a zillion times a day for blessing us with this sweet little boy to call our own!
It’s funny how in one moment your entire perspective on life changes. We truly don’t take it for granted and it does not escape us how lucky we are that we get to be parents. As I wrote in this post I can’t quite put into words how thankful I feel.
Even though I’m not a newborn photographer I had dreamed of the day I would get to photograph my own bebe for years, our first shoot (10 days postpartum) was so special I’m glad I pushed myself to do it and be able to tell him when he gets older I snapped these of him! All the rest of the photos were taken by my mom (the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree I guess!).
Nothing in this world will prepare you for how much you will love your baby. When I recall the moment they placed him on my chest I still get goosebumps and well up instantly. It was love at first sight and without a doubt the most beautiful and happiest moment of my entire life. I held him so close, my arms wrapped around this tiny bebe that I grew inside me.
I took in that moment knowing I wanted to remember it forever. The smell, the sounds, the feeling, the look on Ko’s face of pure joy. I held him so close and stroked his tiny body so that he would feel warm and safe. Kosta came next to us and held out his finger to J’s and straight away he grabbed it. Knowing this was what Kosta was so excited about no words were needed we locked eyes both shinning. This was our baby and life as we knew it was changed forever….
With each passing day I cannot remember what life was like before him (or what on earth I did with all my time?…no seriously?!). It feels as if I’ve blinked and two months have gone by – and here I thought time moved quickly before having a baby, my gosh its warp speed now! Labour seems like a strange blurred memory (or maybe thats my subconscious blurring out the 24 hour long labour haha)
With your first bebe there has been plenty of firsts that have made us burst with happiness, cry and of course piss ourselves laughing…like my first time being pee’ed on – all over my hair (I’m sure it won’t be the last). Then J started pooping everywhere before we got the diaper on…ohhh panic! Thank goodness my mother was there and stuck him straight in the bath. Which brings me to my next point…
I was 13 years old when my little sister was born, I remember my mother in labour, I remember the long nights with a newborn, the small tiny clothes, endless diaper changes…here I thought I’d be a pro…oh my gosh. Those first few weeks post-baby were a trip! I was so slow when I changed him and was almost scared to change outfits…don’t get me started on bath time haha we were so scared to bathe him without my mom at the beginning. The first time Ko and I bathed him solo, he pooped all over Kosta, our entire kitchen including us were drenched and I was sweaty hot mess by the end.
Watching Ko become a father has been one of my favourite things. We’ve known each other for over a decade and been through so much together, we always talked about starting a family and now that it’s happened we just feel incredibly humbled and grateful.
Even though Kosta and I have known each other for over a decade he said he will never forget the voice I used when I first embraced J. He said he’d never heard that voice of mine, when I pressed him to explain further he simply said it was your voice the moment you became a mother and he’ll never forget it.
In the first few weeks your hormones are out of whack, if J was to too far away from me I would physically feel uneasy. I remember feeling really frustrated at how my emotions were out of control and one of my best friends calmly explained to me that its so natural and I was going through bit of separation anxiety – when she first said it I thought ‘what is she talking about he’s always with me?’ But then she went on to explain this tiny person was inside me for 9 months, I felt him grow, his every move kick and turn and now he’s not inside me but out in this world and its normal to feel like you don’t have control anymore and want him close always to be sure he is safe.
Another thing you won’t be prepared for? How much you will worry about your baby 24/7 (I know all mama’s out there know what I mean). No words, cautions or warnings will prepare you for how scared to your core you will be the first time you have to take your baby to emergency (he was all healthy and okay but my gosh that was the longest night of life), or how you will cry the first time you leave him to do a quick errands (hello bawling on the highway).
I feel like there should be a sign on all my platforms at the moment which reads ‘re-calibrating’ because truth is, everything is new and we are on the journey to figuring out our new normal. I’m excited, scared, and motivated all in one big bundle. Having just launched a collection with a one and half month old I can tell you it wasn’t easy. Already feeling that mom guilt I heard so much about. Sure via snapchat and IG it may look like a ‘breeze’ but you don’t get the 24 hours, it’s the the hi-light reel! All mama’s out there know it. is. hard. Bottom line.
The truth is the idea of balancing work and motherhood right now feels very daunting but I’ve never been more excited and motivated to figure something out. Two months in and I’ve already learned so much. I know I still have so much to learn but I believe anything is possible with love, patience and creativity! Looking forward to reporting back to you all as I learn this fun balancing act. I love seeing so many incredible mom bosses out there who are killing it. Inspiration is all around you, you just have to find the right recipe that works for you!
For all the wonderful chaos that has been life the last two months I want to remember it all, the good, the bad, the emotional highs and lows. I wouldn’t trade any of it for anything in the world and I’m excited for whats ahead for all of us!
Till then you can follow us on snapchat (annawithlove) for our daily musings!
Lots of love,